


Dancing/The Stars

by BelleoftheBookstore



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Autistic Logic | Logan Sanders, Caring Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Caring Morality | Patton Sanders, Cuddling & Snuggling, Existential Angst, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, M/M, Sad Logic | Logan Sanders, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22009303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelleoftheBookstore/pseuds/BelleoftheBookstore
Summary: Patton asked Logan to point out some constellations in the Imagination since he didn't know much about stars except that they're pretty. (And maybe he wanted to listen to Logan to his heart's content talk about something he is fascinated by.)Meanwhile, Roman shows that he understands one of Virgil's insecurities and thought of a small way to help.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	1. My (Feelings) are stars I cannot fathom into constellations...

**Author's Note:**

> Prequel to my last two fics. The following two chapters occur at the same time and feature a lot of hurt and comfort for the sides. Do you like your fluffy fanfiction mixed throughly with an existential crisis and self-esteem issues? If so, you're at the right place. Let me know if I missed any trigger warnings or could otherwise improve in any way. <3 None of the characters belong to me, check out Thomas' stuff if you want the original source material.

Logan and Patton were in a car heading to the middle of nowhere. This wasn’t really where they were, as they were still a part of Thomas’ mind. However, the imagination was very immersive. They asked Virgil and Roman if they wanted to come too, but they both claimed that they were busy. Patton wondered whether this was planned on their part, but Logan of course, took it at face value. Either way, Patton was excited that he actually managed to get Logan to leave his room outside of his prescheduled exercise and socializing time. He always thought that the logical side worked far too hard and needed to enjoy himself more often. 

When they got to their destination, they parked the car and wrapped blankets around themselves as they sat on the grass. The only other sounds they heard were owls and crickets.   
They stared at the myriad of stars in silent appreciation. Then Logan cleared his throat and said, “Um… Patton. Do you want to hear some star facts? It’s okay if you just want to sit here quietly, I just thought…” He was grateful that it was too dark for Patton to tell that he was actually blushing for some unknown reason.   
“No, some star facts would be great, Logan.” The moral side enjoyed the way that Logan talked when he was excited about something. It sounded softer somehow. 

Logan proceeded to identify Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Draco, and Pegasus. Patton only interrupted him to say how cute the bear and pegasus constellations were and to comment that the Draco constellation reminded of Harry Potter. Logan actually smiled at that last comment and said that could be how Rowling thought of the name.   
Patton knew that Logan probably knew enough facts about constellations alone (never mind, space in general) to create a two hour documentary. He didn’t want to interrupt, but he had a nagging question. The moral side had no clue why it was so persistent.   
“Um, Logan?”   
“Yes, Patton?”  
“Why do you like space so much?”  
Logan paused, clearly considering the question carefully. 

“I guess it’s because the solar system holds so many potential mysteries. Undiscovered planets and universes that we know nothing about yet, with so much potential. With so many possibilities… In at least one of them, maybe there’s another version of us, where I made completely different decisions, that could have made a better… or worse reality. Either way, it reminds me that all of our problems are so small because we are all just one speck of a person on a tiny rotating ball. And maybe everyone is more alike than we think… Some people just haven’t looked at their lives from that perspective yet.”   
Patton stole a glance at the side and at that point, he knew that there was no one brighter from his perspective.   
“I think that we all forget that sometimes.” Patton said quietly, even for Logan’s hearing, which only Virgil’s rivaled. “That our mistakes matter so little in the grand scheme of things.”

Now it was Logan’s turn to steal a glance. How many times had he ruminated over a mistake, despite the knowledge that very few of them actually matter in the end? And how many times had he found comfort in Patton, even if he never sought it and knew how illogical he was being?   
“Despite this, I still wish that I made less of them. Maybe then I could be more helpful to everyone else and less of an obnoxious know it all.” Logan then realized that he was actually crying silently, all of the secret fear he’s held in lately slowly leaking out.  
“Hey.” Patton looked him in the eyes. “You are doing your best and that’s all anyone can expect from you. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn and improve. And you help us plenty… Who helps Roman’s ideas make sense to others? Who points out the fallacies in Virgil’s anxious thoughts? Who helps us understand Deceit and Remus? Who helps me feel more grounded to reality when everything is overwhelming?... That is all you. Thomas needs you… And so do I… You called yourself an obnoxious know it all. Do you know what I see in you?”  
Patton pointed to the twinkling sky above them. “This is what I see. Something with so much potential and mystery… Something bright and beautiful.”

Then Logan did something very out of character for him and hugged the moral side without contextual prompts. It pained Patton to realize that he was shaking.   
“I don’t… see that though… All I see sometimes are my mistakes… It doesn’t add up…” Patton held him close and rubbed his back soothingly.   
“It’s okay if you don’t see that yet… It’s a work in progress, but you can get there in time. Although, it might help if you took in what is actually said during Thomas’ therapy sessions instead of just analyzing the techniques being used.” This made the logical side cry harder and he said,  
“I’m so-sorry.”   
“It’s okay. You have feelings. Even if you don’t always understand them, it’s better to acknowledge them than to pretend not to have them. Take it from me.”   
Logan knew that Patton was right about this, but he was still ashamed that he was being so stupid. 

“Logan, you need to breathe. You can’t fix anything if you don’t breathe.” The logical side didn’t realize how shallow his breath was getting. He started to panic and Patton helped him with the breathing exercise that he knew the logical side had led him and Virgil through before.   
In 4, hold 7, out 4, in 4… hold 7… out 4, In 4…...hold 7…..out 4.….  
Even after Logan had calmed down, they still held each other, feeling comforted by the other’s touch in this moment. It wasn’t until Logan thought that Patton had fallen asleep on top of him and grass and under blankets and stars that he whispered,  
“You’re my hero too.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
When Thomas woke up the next morning, he went out and bought some glow in the dark star stickers and put them up on his bedroom ceiling. He didn’t know why, but they made him feel calmer.


	2. (This dance) is the only exception...

“For the last time, Roman.” The anxious side said. “I don’t like dancing.”  
“I know you don’t, but I think that this could be fun and may help you feel better about yourself.”  
“How can copying moves in a crowded club near a bunch of sweaty strangers do anything to improve my self-esteem?”   
“That does make sense. After all, it was only my desire for new experiences and Patton’s need to fulfill social obligations that got Thomas to start dancing at all for theatre.”  
Virgil glared at him. The fanciful side was right, but it didn’t mean that he wanted to be reminded of it. Not when they were just trying to find something to do while Patton and Logan were preoccupied in the imagination. 

Virgil hated how he felt whenever Thomas danced. He felt like everyone was judging. His dance moves, his body, his social skills… Dancing felt like an endless copy of what other people were doing, what they wanted to see from him.... But the others liked it. Roman wanted to be able to express things in such a physical way and to hear the praise from others when Thomas danced well. Patton liked the social and emotional aspects of it, especially when it was with someone special. Even Logan begrudgingly admitted that it was a good form of exercise. He didn’t want to bring everyone down, but he also didn’t want Thomas to get hurt, physically or emotionally. This would often start a war within himself whenever Thomas wanted to dance. And no matter what decision he made, he was always sure it was the wrong one afterwards. 

“I understand where you’re coming from, though. That’s why my idea has no night clubs involved.”  
Virgil perked up curiously. He still wasn’t sure if he liked this idea, but he decided to follow Roman anyway. At least it didn’t involve exiting the mind scape and leaving Thomas defenseless while he slept.   
He led Virgil to the living room. Roman had clearly borrowed some things from Patton prior, as twinkling lights, stuffed animals, and other soft things now lined the room. 

“Hold on, I have to set up the music.” Roman said with a grin. Virgil peered over his shoulder and realized that this playlist included acoustic alternative, romantic musical, and classical music. If anything could get me to waltz, this would be it, the anxious side thought to himself. The first song played at an ambient volume and Virgil instantly recognized it as an acoustic version of Paramore’s, “The Only Exception.”   
“May I have this dance?” Roman asked with a curtsy and then held out his hand. It contrasted wildly with the fact that they were in their pyjamas in the center of the living room.   
“Uh… yes…” Virgil said.   
Roman beamed and said, “Don’t worry. We’ll start out slow.” He must have noticed the other’s hesitance. This was a new development. Roman took the lead, but it was calm, more like swaying than professional waltzing. It was awkward at first, but they soon grew used to each other’s movements and could predict them. Slowly but surely, Virgil relaxed. 

After a couple songs worth of calm movement, Roman spoke up.   
“I should probably confess…” He felt Virgil grow tense with nervous anticipation, but he knew he had to continue. “You’re not the only one who gets nervous when Thomas is dancing in front of others… I fret about not telling him the right moves to make… About screwing everything up… I just wanted to let you know, you’re not the only one with these sorts of thoughts… I just hide them behind a mask… I’m sorry for not telling you earlier.”  
“It’s okay. I think every one of us has some sort of mask...” He trailed off, lost in thought. As Virgil had gotten to know the main sides, he started attempting to identify what they try to hide from the others. Patton tended to hide his emotions for the sake of the others. Logan’s often hid his mistakes and feelings because this was easier than admitting his imperfections. And Roman’s was the hardest for him to figure out, but it was pretending to always be confident, even when his ideas never felt good enough. “It’s something to work on, but it doesn’t make you a lesser aspect.” He continued.

Roman smiled and said, “The same goes for you. You used to be so harsh and scary, probably so we would listen to you and not reject you like you feared we would. But it’s okay, we’re all trying to be better versions of ourselves, I suppose… We’re all in different places with that, but we can try to help each other. We should… It’s what’s best for Thomas. I’m sorry-”  
“Don’t.” Virgil interrupted. “We understand each other better now and that’s all that should matter.”

Then the creative side surprised the vigilant one by pulling him into a strong hug. So strong that Roman fell and brought Virgil down with him.   
“I’m sorry.” Roman said sheepishly. “I know you don’t always like touch… Nor sudden movement.”  
“It’s okay.” Virgil said, the weight of Roman pressing onto him like a safety blanket. “Sometimes touch is helpful to me, it really just depends. Can you give me a little warning next time though?”  
“Of course, Hot Topic… I can get up whenever you want me to.”  
“I know.” Virgil responded, but he made no attempt at moving right away. He felt safe here.   
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It was slow going, but this started a change within Thomas. He no longer felt quite as ashamed for asking others for help, because he started to realize that you never know when someone is quietly going through the same struggle and will understand, if nothing else.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys chuckled at the John Green misquote that is the title of this chapter. The next chapter features Virgil and Roman. I don't just write Logicality stuff guys! I have plans for all of the characters in this universe, as well as for other fandoms and outside projects.


End file.
